Wasting my words on lower cases and CAPITALS.

and i spent it alone in my room with my thoughts and my records and my hangover.

Chances are that October and Autumn will begin in earnest properly tomorrow,the afterglow of summer that’s been present this week will fade away once and for all and as sure as the leaves turn brown and fall from the trees,life will change,as it always does,to what extent i can’t say,i can only second guess and hope for the best.

I’ve had a lovely weekend,I saw Leah and I saw my friends,and although it was a weekend of two halves,Southampton and Wycombe,today has given me time to myself,time that i used to enjoy but no longer embrace as i once did.I’ve missed company,conversation and the comfort of shared experience.It’s easier to be on your own when you know you don’t have too,but it also makes me fearful of what i’ve left behind.Days like today used to be the norm and not the exception and what i’m trying to say is i don’t want to go back to them,i’m not as good on my own as i used to be because now i know what i would be missing out on if i lost it and that scares me more then anything has in a long long time.

This is all probably the lonesome sunday blues talking and i’ll read this back tomorrow and feel silly for writing about it,but maybe it just takes one day without something to scare you into loosing that something or someone forever.To make you re-focus your efforts,try harder,be better,make those happy that you care about because you want to,and in turn their happiness will make you happy.

I’m in love and it’s both utterly wonderful and scary as hell to have someone you care about so much.Things change and people change,all you can do is “keep your head up,keep your heart strong.”